There has been 6 weeks since I last made a blog post. I was supposed to keep a diary of my ups and downs, successes and failures. The lack of posts suggests that I have not been on the top of my game over the last few weeks. So what has been happening?
My motivation has probably hit rock bottom and the quality of training has been below average at best. I have not been vigilant with the rehabilitation of my injury of my foot either. Why is it so hard to regain the want to train for a goal? Do I need to find a goal I truly desire? Why am I content with my ability as it is and I do not feel the need to train to achieve the results I desire?
I know what I need to do, and I have done it before, so why do I struggle to do the simple day to day things that make my training successful?
My depression has started to come back as my day to day mood is kind of blah, and the small things that shouldn't annoy me, have begun to irritate me and I react to more and more. As my depression begins to become a problem, my weight tends to rise, the more it rises, the more the depression sets in. A vicious cycle and the faster the downward spiral spins. I know the way out, but can I take the way and stay the path? That is my personal challenge.
The last few days however have seen much improvement in my physical and mental states. I have recently restarted taking my medication, which seems to have taken the edge off of my day to day anxiety, which is a relief. I will need to continue the medication for the foreseeable future anyway. I also have been back to the podiatrist with some advancement regarding my lingering foot problem and back into some form of running this coming week. PROGRESS!!!
With a little focus I can achieve my short term goals and get on the right track and recreate my habits from a time in my past. Time to reset the clock.
50 days until race day
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