Well today I got a short run in the rain before work, and my damn garmin lasted 35 seconds. Must have forgotten to turn it off.
Swam after work after borrowing a pair of googles from Jane. Tried a bunch of 100's and 50's and about 2 seconds off what I'd like to be at. Just need more time in the water to fix that.
So doctor never called so left another message. Really hope he calls me back.
Why do people have such different values about what is intimate and not.
Had another argument with Jane. This time over a work friend's birthday stored on my phone. BTW this work friend is female. I don't see the problem whereas Jane thinks I've done everything but sleep with her. God it drives me insane. One thing lead to another and even though nothing got broken, I lost it once again this week.
All I can feel is the gloom closing around like it was before the pills but not as heavy. I feel heavier and slower and those who have depression can relate to this. Today is not a good day. I need help.
You may have noticed I haven't mentioned my brothers or parents yet. Well instead of "liking" my facebook posts, they haven't really done much in support me, or more so, support Jane and Alex as I go through this tough period of my life. So when one of them does something to write about I'll mention it. I have told all of them I suffer from depression but typical of my family, none of us really know how to be there in the right capacity to support each other. Learnt that from my parents void of real affection I guess. I'm just as guilty of it too.
Well my younger brother has been battling cancer and his girlfriend had twins a few months ago, and we had an argument a few months ago. But our problems go back nearly 20 years ago now. Pity. We were like twins. 16 months apart in age. Did almost everything together. Had the same circle of friends. Like I said. Like twins. That was all ruined by betrayal and guilt. Now we haven't spoken for far too long, but each too stubborn to make the first move to really bury the past properly by talking it out and owning the wrongs we have done to each other.
In my family, we are all awkward to each other. I see other people that have strong bonds with their family and I kind of get jealous. Tonight I do feel more alone than I have for quite some time.
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