Gale force winds out in Wellington still, and nearly had a bad accident on the way to work. Got saved by bouncing down the side of a car and staying upright on the bike. No damage except burn grazes on my elbow where I slid along the car. So got some riding in, and met the kids at the Triathlon Training Squad we are taking. should be some fun.
But training was not the goal for today. I had to try and get life at home back on track.
So last night was pretty bad. We never resolved the argument and things got kind of loud. The argument kept going on and I resorted back to the nasty old dragon breathing fire and destroying things. So for all my small steps forward, I take a massive leap back to the beginning. Tonight is not as dramatic and i know I need to talk to someone about all my issues, insecurities, abandonment and especially my anger. I am not in a good place right now but just like going to the doctor for medication, this is my next step. Additional help.
I wonder now, looking over the last couple of days, has the change in my medication made me slightly less resilient to my anger issues? I didn't blow up on the last type, but also I was never pushed even close to breaking point while on them. So time to attempt to repair the damage I have done and try and sooth the wounds I have made by my harsh words.
I hope this is not the beginning of the end of this part of my life as we do have a lot of good and some great times together. There are so many things I still want to do.
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