5 weeks since I started my blog. I do wonder if anyone actually does read this and enjoys what I'm doing. If so, you can probably guess my focus has been about my sport. I find the better my sport is going so is everything else in my life. I do believe doing something athletic really does help with depression.
I didn't always achieve everything easily in my chosen sport. I backed away from things as a teen and did things that were really all about me. Distancing myself from teams and groups, only really hung out with those like me. I guess they were not able to deal with their own issues either and my issues just were nurtured along and eventually consume my world.
Golf was my sport up until the year 2000 when I left New Zealand for Canada. Golf was just far too expensive for me to play there. In Canada I did get exposed to Ironman as a volunteer in the town of Penticton. That memory has not left and I will always want to in back and do that race one day. One to bury old demons, and two, because I really want to do that one.
After sorting out a small issue with Jane's bike, we headed to the cloud for the expo and registration. Bought a couple of things and looked and all the big bling. After race briefing and bike check in we just chilled and crashed out in the hotel. Hope I can sleep later.
As I lay waiting to go to sleep, I begin to think. I think about the race. That last 5 weeks. The depression. Christmas. Money. But as I watch Jane sleep, I think back to cal the adventures away we have had and just how much I love her. I do want to improve myself and actually grow my knowledge. I want to be calmer and better person. I want to be a better father for Alex too. I need to get that appointment sorted with the doc.
Time to try and sleep. Race day when I wake!
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