Christmas time.
Even though I love my 2 girls and love being with them, I often wonder if I have a void in my being. The family I once had no longer has much part in my life. Do I still hold my anger towards their weaknesses, or are they my views of their personalities.
When my intimate family needed help from me, who was there road challenge my behavior, or took me to get me help, essentially helping my girls. No one. Was I abandoned or were they just not strong enough characters to do the right thing?
The ads on tv for someone to intervene are a waste of time. No one does it. It is not in people's make up to challenge a mentally unstable person, let alone lend a hand when they are at their lowest. Maybe I just can't help feeling rejected by my family and I am too hurt to let it pass. Maybe me and my brother's were taught to only care about ourselves and had poor role models who left us emotionally stunted.
Do I need more family? Do I need better and closer friends instead? Or do I just have trust issues?
What I do know is 2013 will be a better year for me as I do see things in a better light and I have got some goals I want to achieve. I think the last 20 months without much focus has given me a chance time reconnect to part if me that took up triathlons in the first place. I do need to right the goals down so I will achieve them.
Have a great holiday period everyone and thank you for reading my blog.
No comments:
Post a Comment